Note: Photographers’ Friday is a weekly blog series directed toward professional photographers, and in some instances, serious amateur photographers. All Photographers’ Friday blog posts will assume that readers have a basic working knowledge of digital SLR cameras, but if you’re left with questions or don’t understand any of the information, don’t hesitate to ask. We love e-mails!

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Don’t you just hate the word no? It sounds unkind. Uncaring. It sounds selfish and ambivalent. It can also be the key to getting your life back.

I think most photographers — and most small business owners, and most parents, and most people with any sort of career or studies that consumes most of their lives — would call time management their biggest problem. Do you edit, frantically, when you should be making dinner/relaxing with family/sleeping? Consign your rare free weekend to meeting with prospective clients? Check your email incessantly on your phone, afraid you might miss an important inquiry or order request?

It’s time to get your life back in order. It’s time to learn that there is a time and a place for the word “no.”I love saying yes. I love-love-love saying yes. It makes me feel good to answer people in the affirmative. “Yes, I can get that job completed faster than normal for you.” “Yes, I can squeeze that meeting into my already-busy schedule this week.” “Yes, I can take care of planning these activities on top of my regular work.” “Yes, I can give up my evenings with my husband to take care of this for you.” “Yes, I can plan a schedule that’s so busy it makes me want to cry.”

Yes, that was a joke. Or was it? I’d bet money every single person reading this has felt that way on many more than one occasion.

So how do we keep this cycle from repeating itself? At the beginning of the year, Danny and I set some new goals for our business to try to keep it from consuming our lives so much. It’s been mostly successful, other than number 3 (we vowed not to book any weekend weddings during the holidays, but an old family friend is getting married in December, so we wanted to say yes!) and number 1, (which was to keep regular work hours — and which got off to a bumpy start but has finally started settling into place). But I could take that list and sum it up in one sentence: “Say ‘no’ more frequently.” And then I could add another sentence: “And don’t feel guilty about it.”

Saying no is actually pretty easy — and as long as you have a solid and consistent reason to back it up, you’re not likely to offend anyone, whether a client or a friend. What has made it easier for me to start saying no when I need to say no? Three things:

• Write down the things you value most in life, and your goals for your life and business. Post them somewhere clearly visible. Whenever it’s time to make a “yes” or “no” decision, check that decision against your lists to help you decide. (Thanks to both Zach & Jody and Karen & Isaac for hitting this point home during United!)
• Handle as much professional and personal communication as possible via e-mail — it’s easier to form a clear, kind “no” answer when you have time to choose your words carefully, rather than when you’re on the phone and feel like you’re scrambling for a way to explain yourself.
• Practice being thoughtful and deliberate in your in-person conversations instead of blurting out, “Sure!” as soon as someone makes a request. Get comfortable with the phrases, “I’ll have to look at my calendar” and “Let me think about it and get back to you.” Then give your answer some real consideration.

That’s pretty simple and straightforward. But it isn’t always easy. There have already been a number of times this month that I’ve shaken my head at myself, wondering why I said “yes” and made my life more complicated when saying “no” and offering an alternative would have been far more beneficial.

It’s a work in progress. I love saying yes — and most of the time, that’s great, and I can. On occasion though, “no” is the only word that will do. And it doesn’t have to be ugly, as long as it still stems from kindness.

~ Laura