What they say about the grass being greener definitely applies to some of the (relatively) modern inventions that make our lives easier. Case in point.

Anyone who knows me well will tell you I’m something of a girly girl. I might not wear many cute accessories or decorate my house in pink, but the one adornment on my wedding gown was a splash of sparkle tied with the bow. I can’t get enough of ruffles or fluttery sleeves or twirly skirts, and I wear Lily Pulitzer perfume. No surprise, I adore Kate Spade. I came thisclose to wearing a pair of be-bowed Kate Spade heels for my wedding, and I’ve drooled over Kate Spade purses for years, but never quite got around to purchasing one, or those shoes, either. I’ve long wanted something, anything emblazoned “Kate Spade” in my closet. I just never thought it would be eyeglasses.
Some backstory. At my last eye doctor appointment, two years ago, I left with a big inflated opinion of my body’s supreme functionality: I had (near) perfect vision. Score one for my eyes’ youthfulness! But secretly, I had always wanted glasses. I wanted that sophisticated, businesslike-ness, that chic “I’m too cool to go bare-eyed” smolder of the model on the Prada poster.

As a kid, I had secretly always wanted braces, too. The kids who got to change the colors on their teeth had an accessory that made me incredibly jealous. I wanted to coordinate my mouth with the holidays, too! Braces seemed unfairly cool, but even though I wanted them, I knew I had something on the kids who needed braces: I had perfectly straight teeth . . . until my last baby tooth hung on till age 17, by which time the big tooth had decided to drop in at the wrong place. On went the braces, out the window went their coolness. Graduating high school in braces was not cool. What an unfulfilling, fulfilled dream.

That’s kind of how I felt with the glasses, too. They suddenly weren’t so desirable when my anti-fatigue lenses — intended to spare my eyes during all the hours I spend ruining them in front of the computer, doing things like editing photos and writing this blog post — turned into one anti-fatigue lens and one corrective lens. “Wow, you look through your camera viewfinder with your weak eye, and your pictures aren’t coming out blurry?!” asked the doctor incredulously. “They’ve been sharp,” I squeaked replied, fighting the urge to stare at my toes. If I could even see them anymore.

Okay, okay, that’s an exaggeration. A big one. I can see just fine without glasses, I just can’t see as well as I can with them. And I’d started getting headaches when I sat in front of the computer for very long. So the doctor jotted down the order for my new lenses and I went to choose my frames. Gucci, Armani, Prada, Chanel, Ralph Lauren, or Geoffrey Bean? Or . . . Kate Spade. Why yes, Kate Spade it is. Even the case is darling.
I love how my glasses look, on and off, but I haven’t gotten used to them. Every time I walk inside a building, I have an automatic urge to take them off — like my much-loved sunglasses. And since I don’t need to wear them to see and read — and shoot photo sessions — I’m not planning to wear them all the time. So you might never actually see me in them again after these pictures, but I’ll look pretty spiffy when I’m sitting in front of my computer and driving at night.
There’s just one thing that I hope, and that’s that my third irrational childhood longing never comes true. I have perfectly functioning feet and ankles and legs. And let’s face it — while they’re sometimes necessary, crutches and casts are really not cool.

~ Laura