New Year’s resolutions have never really been my thing. They’re just those promises people make to themselves and break to themselves.

But goals — now goals are something I can get on board with!

So I didn’t make any resolutions for this year; I just made a ton of goals. I made a goal to finally paint my bedroom and bathroom. I made a goal to eat a lot more fruits and veggies. I made a goal to take plenty of after-dinner walks around the neighborhood with Danny, especially once we get back to daylight savings time and have beautiful sunsets to enjoy. Have a great portrait session done for ourselves!

I also made a list of photography goals for this year, and the list keeps growing. Shoot a promo video for our website. Plan several styled shoots. Redecorate our office. Etc., etc. And I’ve done it, in part, thanks to Katelyn James’ wonderful idea of The Big List. Now there’s just the little matter of getting them all checked off, one by one.I have been very careful and intentional as I set my 2013 goals, because there are a few lessons I’ve learned about goal-setting — some from personal experience, some vicariously. The biggest two lessons I’ve learned:

1.) You can’t force some things to happen.
I learned this one on my own, and via a photographer friend (hey, Emilia Jane!) who wondered aloud on her blog why she had set an unusual goal for herself: To write a blog post that goes viral. As she explained, that’s just one of those things you can’t control — you can write the funniest, most informative post ever published or feature the cutest wedding exit ever captured, and the Internet might not even notice. So goals that I can’t assure by the sweat of my own brow aren’t going on my goals list. I’d love to book a wedding overseas. But I really can’t make that happen by myself. Some things outside of my control have to happen, too. That puts it into the category of things I want to work toward — things I want to happen and things I will work hard to make happen; I just don’t want them to be on my goals list, because if they don’t happen and I can’t cross them off, that will feel like a failure to me . . . even if it wasn’t my “fault.”

2.) Nothing will happen if you don’t get the ball rolling.
I have also learned that I can’t let being afraid of failing be a reason that stops me from setting a goal. I was scared when I decided to leave writing for wedding photography. I was scared when it came time to shoot my first wedding. And I’ve been scared at so many other steps along the way. But if I didn’t attempt any of those things that had scared me, I would have, well, failed. So I have to set goals. I have to chase dreams that seem a little too big. I can’t just look at last year’s portfolio and wait for this year to happen.

So when it comes to goal setting for 2013, I’ve got a lot of things on my list that I know I can do — but I have to admit I’m a little scared of some of them. Scared of how to approach them, scared they won’t turn out exactly as planned, scared I’ll still come up short.

But that isn’t what has happened before. Last year, my goal was to shoot 10 weddings. I shot 15 — which can literally be called 150% success. Last year, I set the goal that Danny and I would be shooting 25% of our weddings outside of our immediate market by 2013. We shot ten of our 15 outside of our immediate market in 2012. Last year, I had the goal of getting published on a wedding blog. That happened eight times before the year ended.

Setting goals that are attainable — and blowing by them — is a huge confidence boost. Setting goals that are attainable — but require a lot of stretching — is even better. So that’s my work in progress for 2013. Goals, lots of goals. Attainable, but not yet within reach.

~ Laura