If anyone had walked into the rest room at that particular moment during my wedding reception, I’m not sure what they would have thought. In my own mind, it was like reverse-engineering that scene from Gone With the Wind when Scarlett, hanging onto the bed post, insists, “Tighter! Pull the corset tighter!” Except I was hanging onto a bathroom stall door, gasping for breath as four women from my church frantically attempted to loosen my dress’s corset. Because what had felt comfortably snug that morning had turned into “I-can’t-sit-down-and-feel-like-I-am-going-to-throw-up-when-I-take-a-bite-of-food-or-sip-of-water” tight by that evening.

Every bride wants to look amazing on her wedding day. I sure did. But I also think it’s safe to say every bride would also like to be comfortable enough to enjoy her wedding day! Both are absolutely possible. I promise.How can a bride be comfortable on her wedding day? Here’s my take — as a former bride, as a bridesmaid, and as a photographer who has worked with brides who are at all levels of comfort and discomfort! (And believe me, brides, you’ll photograph best if you aren’t in agony!)

The Gown
Find a gown that just feels right on you. It might be made of layers of heavier fabric, such as satin or taffeta (like mine), or consist of just a few slinky layers of featherweight lace or organza. Weight will be one factor in your gown’s comfort, but it’s far from being the only one, and probably won’t be the make-or-break factor. The gown’s shape and drape will play a role, for sure, so consider whether you’re comfortable in strapless gowns, or whether skinny straps will dig into your shoulders after hours of wear, or whether you think the fabric or lining will irritate your skin. A lot of your gown’s comfort will depend on whether or not it is altered to fit you perfectly — so make sure you (and the seamstress) take the time to get your gown fine-tuned to your figure. Then there’s the matter of whether you’re comfortable with how you look in your gown — and that counts for a lot, too. A dress may be flattering, but if you feel it’s too revealing or too voluminous, or any other issue, then you’re not going to be comfortable in it.

The Shoes
Stunning stilettos or cute and comfy flats? Go with whichever look is going to make you happier, taking into consideration the style of your gown, what your bridesmaids are wearing, and what kind of terrain you’ll have to deal with at your venue. But regardless of how comfortable your wedding shoes seem, have a backup pair ready and waiting in case your toes need a break! And while breaking your shoes in is what all the wedding magazines recommend, I always caution brides that breaking in shoes can mean leaving footprints on the soles of sandals — which definitely makes for less-than-glamorous shoe shots come the wedding day. So break them in lightly — and wash your feet first!

The Hairdo
Remember when you were little and your mom did the fancy French braids you wanted and they were so tight you got a headache? No, that only happened to me? (I don’t believe that for a minute!) Figure out a hairstyle that will keep you comfortable throughout your wedding day and long into the night. For some brides that’s going to mean flowy curls so there’s no worries about hair being pulled too tight; for other brides (this girl included), that means a tidy updo so there are not flyaways in the bride’s eyes. Whatever type of ‘do you think you want, do a trial run in advance so you’ll know whether or not you actually like the feel of it. Wear that ‘do for several hours, and do some physical activity — you’ll be dancing the night away at your wedding, after all — to see how well it stays kempt.

The Veil
Not every bride wants a veil — it’s almost 50-50 with our brides, with the slight edge going to un-veiled brides — but those who do need to make sure they like the feel of a veil. Make sure the edging won’t irritate your skin (or catch any fine lace or applique on your dress). Make sure the comb can be placed carefully into your hairdo without boring into your scalp.

The Undergarments
A great thing about wedding gowns: Frequently, they’re thick enough that they’re pretty forgiving when it comes to undergarments. But not always. I’ve watched more than one bride have to swap underwear at the last minute, because a sheerer-than-expected dress revealed the vibrant shade of her undies. Make sure you’re comfortable in the undergarments you want to wear for your wedding day (and that they aren’t itchy, bunchy, too big or too small), and make sure you wear those undergarments during your gown fitting, ensuring the gown and undergarments work together to make you look and feel your best.

The Jewelry
Whatever jewelry you plan to wear on your wedding day, give it a trail run around the house. Make sure your necklace or earrings don’t feel too heavy; make sure any bracelets aren’t distracting or irritating; make sure no pieces of your jewelry catch on your gown, hair, or veil.

The Makeup
Wedding day makeup usually goes on a little heavier than everyday makeup, because you’ll be expected to look your best for hours, outside and inside, as you cry and dance and hug guest after guest. So anticipate that it might feel a little heavier than you’re used to, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be comfortable. Also be aware that fake eyelashes take a bit of getting used to, so consider a trial run to decide if they’re for you. But my biggest advice for comfortable makeup concerns lipstick. Of course every bride (and every bride’s groom!) wants the color to stay on her lips, not transfer to his. But a lot of long-lasting, non-fading lipsticks dry out your lips, leaving them feeling tight and pinched. If you want to go with one of the all-day-wear lipsticks, moisturize your lips well ahead of time, and make sure you’ve got plenty of lip balm and gloss on hand throughout the day. Talk to your makeup artist about what she typically uses, and, like your hair trial, schedule your makeup trial early enough in the day that you can leave the makeup on for a number of hours to make sure it wears and feels the way you want it to.

Good luck to every bride planning her wedding day look — and feel. Because, from my own personal experience, an overly-tightened corset wasn’t the best way to experience a wedding reception!

~ Laura