Yes, this blog post is most definitely tongue-in-cheek. But it also comes from being a bride, and having to respond to these questions and comments with as much grace and patience as I could summon. Sometimes, as the bride, it’s amusing. Sometimes it’s a little offensive. Sometimes it’s just tiring. So what shouldn’t you say to a bride? Read on. And if you’re a bride who has fielded these comments and questions . . . well, share a semi-nostalgic chuckle with me.

• Are you getting excited?
• The invitation didn’t specify — can I bring a date to your wedding?
• Well, at my wedding, I had _________.
• Are you going to have children soon?
• Wow. All of this must be really expensive.
• I’m going to be on a new diet during your wedding — can you have the kitchen make something special?*
• I know I RSVPed weeks ago and your wedding is in just two days, but I’m not going to come after all because something more fun came up.**
• Can I crash at your house when I’m in town for your wedding?***
• Oh, no, you can’t ________ at your wedding!
• There’s going to be an open bar, right? I can’t wait!

And then, the comment to end all comments.

• I hope you know what you’re doing.

What comments/questions have you gotten that made you roll your eyes or scrape your jaw up off the ground? Leave a comment!

~ Laura

*Note: Real dietary needs should be addressed when you RSVP. If you have a certain food allergy, intolerance, or if you’re vegetarian or vegan, let the bride know. Almost all caterers expect and are prepared to handle these types of necessary dietary issues. But if you’ve just picked up a new fad diet, plan to eat before or after the wedding and enjoy what you can from the buffet.
** Yes, I got a couple, slightly less blunt versions of this one. Long after the caterer had been paid per plate.
*** If the bride or groom offers this to you — I actually did stay with a friend’s bride-to-be during their wedding weekend a few years ago, per their invitation — that’s a different story. But don’t ask.