I feel like this Wedding Planning Wednesday needs a bit of an explanation. There are plenty of cynical people in the world who would tell you it’s ridiculous that a photographer, who charges thousands of dollars per wedding, would tell couples not to blow their budgets. But I don’t think it’s ridiculous no matter who the advice comes from. There are many, many photographers who charge three times my price, and any one of them who has their clients’ best interest at heart would tell them the same thing I’m saying today. Let me spell it out a little more clearly:

Figure out roughly how much you can spend on your wedding before you start booking vendors and planning your day.
This is absolutely essential. But it needs to be done carefully, too. Don’t just pull a random number out of your head because it sounds reasonable, or because you know it’s close to what your friend spent on her wedding last year. Do the math. Look at your bank accounts. Look at your pre-existing debt. Consider your financial plans for the future.

Do your research into wedding costs before you set your budget in stone.
I can’t tell you how many excited wedding inquiries I’ve gotten from couples who tell me their photography budget is only a few hundred dollars for their wedding day. While there is nothing wrong with a budget of that size, I always suspect the couple hasn’t done any research into what wedding photography — or any wedding professional’s services — actually costs. They’ve come up with an amount they think is reasonable, and then they’re shocked when the professionals whose work they consider the best don’t fit into their budget. So get a good idea of how much it would cost you to have the wedding you really want, then compare those numbers to the tentative budget you’ve already prepared. How do they compare? Is there any wiggle room?

Allot your budget according to what is most important to you, not by following the percentages a wedding magazine tells you to spend on each item.
It’s something I’ve blogged about before. There is no one-size-fits-all wedding budget breakdown — and anyone who tells you that there is is doing you a disservice. We’ve had couples devote well more than 10% of their total budget (a standard figure suggested to brides) for their photography. We’ve had couples who’ve completely dispensed with devoting any part of their budget toward transportation (if you don’t need a limo, don’t rent one!), or a DJ (if you’re not having dancing and don’t need an emcee, why bother?), or wedding gowns (because sometimes borrowing a loved one’s dress is more magical than buying your own). So decide what’s most important to you and prioritize your budget accordingly. Don’t worry if you spend “too much” on flowers or “not enough” on alcohol — if it suits your vision and fits into your overall budget, that’s all that matters.

Think long-term.
Your wedding is only one day of your life, true. Think about what you’ll have after the wedding is over, and think about what you want to remember most. That will help you determine whether your money is well-spent.

Save money where you can — but don’t ask your vendors to take a pay cut to fit your budget.
Sticking to a budget is great. Clearly I think so; I’m advocating it now, and Danny and I try to do it effectively in our daily lives, too. But something we don’t think is great is when couples come to us hoping to hire us for their wedding, tell us they’re on a budget, and expect us to discount our prices so we’ll fit into their budget. Chances are, you wouldn’t like it if someone asked you to do your job at a discounted rate . . . because you’re on a budget. You have a mortgage to pay and need to put food on the table and cover your insurance and gas and household costs. So do the wedding professionals you’re going to hire, so if they’re out of your price range, feel free to ask them what their absolute minimum price is — but don’t expect them to give you a discount that will hurt their household budget so you can stick to your wedding budget.

Know when to say no.
The truth is that most of us can’t have everything we want for our weddings. We can’t afford it. So know when to tell yourself, “That’s okay; we can do without it.” Maybe it’s the elaborately decorated four-tier cake; maybe it’s the venue with a $100-per-plate base price. If you can’t arrange your budget to make the expense work for you, you simply need to say no.

Don’t let yourself be pressured into an expense you don’t want.
I don’t care if it’s a talented photographer or a set of cute bubble wands for your guests to blow at you at the end of the night — if you’re uncomfortable spending the money, don’t spend it. It doesn’t matter if a friend or relative tells you that you need to have it; it doesn’t matter if the vendor gives you a high-pressure sales pitch. If you aren’t convinced it’s what you for-sure want for your wedding, walk away without spending the money.

Stick to your budget and start your marriage with a clear conscience.
Let me just say — Danny and I hate debt. We’ve been (very effectively) working to pay off all our debt this past year, and we’re getting really close. Our marriage has been incredibly happy and incredibly blessed so far — but it would have been even happier, and had fewer moments of stress and frustration, if we hadn’t been lugging along debt as an unpleasant third wheel. Now, none of our debt was from our wedding. And whatever debt you might have, we don’t want your wedding to be an uncomfortable part of it as you start your marriage. Statistics show that most arguments in marriage — and most divorces — stem from stress about finances. Do your marriage a favor, and don’t let your wedding get your marriage off to a financially stressed start.

Have some more tips for creating and sticking to a wedding budget that you can live with? Leave a comment below or send me an email! I’d love to hear what you think.

~ Laura