When Danny and I were first officially launching our photography business, we were very blessed with friends who were willing to take a risk on our inexperience and let us shoot their weddings. Their trust in us was something we took very, very seriously, and we worked extremely hard to try to produce photographs they would love. When we got married, we had friends who worked our wedding, too — our photographer, a former wedding photographer overseas, was a friend, and we were lucky enough to have wonderful friends handle day-of coordination and help with a lot of the decorating projects.

There’s something wonderfully warm and comforting about having your friends so intimately involved in your wedding. You can trust them to be there for you, and you make wonderful memories together.

But you can also trust that if your friends aren’t experienced professionals, they probably won’t be able to do the same quality job as experienced professionals. A friend who owns a nice camera might be excited to shoot your wedding, but she simply can’t deliver the same caliber of pictures as a photographer who has devoted hour after hour, for weeks and years, to bettering her craft and learning how to anticipate and set up the moments that produce the very best images. A friend who got married last year probably can tell your bridesmaids when to start walking down the aisle, but she won’t know the ins and outs of how to ensure a wedding day runs smoothly the way a seasoned wedding planner will. A friend who likes music and gadgets might do a great job putting together a fun reception playlist, but he won’t be able to read the crowd and keep everyone on the dance floor the way a real DJ can.

Now all this isn’t to say that “hiring” your friends can’t be the right decision for you. It’s just a reminder that, if your friends aren’t professionals, you really can’t expect them to produce work on par with professionals. And if you hold it against them after the fact, you’re the one who is responsible for souring your friendship — because, regardless of whether they volunteered or you enlisted them, you’re ultimately the one who chose to “hire” your friend instead of a professional.Bear this in mind as you consider asking friends to handle wedding tasks that are often performed by people who dedicate their entire careers to perfecting: If there are people out there who are making their whole living creating gorgeous cakes, shooting wedding photographs and videos, and designing floral arrangements, they’re only in business because they’re able to do work the average layperson cannot. Sure, there are definitely non-professionals out there who have the skills and know-how to get a lot of these wedding jobs done — and when you find them, it’s an incredible blessing if they’re willing to take part in your wedding. The unfortunate fact is that the truly skilled, truly-knowing-how non-professionals are few and far between.

If you want to “hire” your friends, by all means, it’s your wedding and you’re welcome to do whatever you would like. Just please remember that your friends are just that: Your friends. They’re people who care about you dearly and want you to be incredibly happy. But that doesn’t mean they’re the people who are best equipped to make you happy.

Weigh your options. Consider the potential upsides of having your friends involved, and consider the potential damages, both to your wedding and to your friendships. Then move forward with whatever decision makes you feel at peace.

~ Laura