Remember middle school and high school, and even college, when you tried so hard to do things right? You know what I mean. Buy the right clothes, listen to the right music, work at the right after school job, have the right circle of friends, be in the right clubs or sports.

Yes, of course you remember it. Because some days, no matter how old you are or grown up you try to be, it feels as if you’ve never left high school behind.

This is me, as a freshman in college. Remarkably . . . ten years later, when I look at this picture, which my friend Amanda snapped as we hung out at her house, all I can think is, “I pretty much look exactly the same.” (And I still have that sweater. I wore it a couple weeks ago.)In some ways, I’ve become almost unrecognizable since then, but in others, I’m still that exact same girl. As teenagers, it’s so easy to get caught up in trying to fit in and be right according to everyone else’s standards. I think as adults, it’s even easier.

Take the photography industry as an example — it’s a microcosm of the entire human population, in a lot of ways.

At any given point in time, there is a right subject to photograph. Then there are the right publications to be featured in, and the right way to post process your photos — or better still, the right film and film camera to use — and the right gear to own and the right kind of blog and website to have and the right business model to follow and the right workshops and conferences to attend — or better still, speak at — and the right people to know and the right clients to work with.

It’s overwhelming. And you know something else? None of it is any more right than any of that stuff we tried so hard to conform to back when we were teenagers.

Maybe some of you achieved all that right stuff back when you were kids. I had moments here and there when I thought I had. But you know what? Those victories were short-lived. Being right can be pretty hollow and meaningless. I felt that as a teenager, when the great feeling of a trendy new outfit faded after a couple wears, and I’ve felt that as a photographer. Each step along the way — the exciting publications, the gorgeous venues, getting noticed by a big name in the industry — is worth celebrating, but the celebration wears off fairly quickly. Just because something is so-called right doesn’t mean that it has deep lasting value. It will rarely be the fulfilling culmination we’d dreamed of. Just like finally becoming a cool kid back in school.

So my advice — to myself, more than anyone — is to not worry about making sure everything is right. Make sure everything matters. Make sure everything has a purpose. Make sure you’re spending your time pursuing things that one day, decades from now, you will look back on and say, “Yes, those were the best years of my life, and those were years well spent.” Because I promise you, none of us will look back on a life chasing after status or popularity — or, according to someone else’s standards, being right — as a life well lived.

~ Laura