I was on the phone with one of our 2013 brides when she told me something that put a huge smile on my face: “Yeah, I told my sister to find some bridesmaids dresses she liked and let the other girls know what she chooses,” she said.
She had given her sister an idea of the color and length she wanted. Then she said “Have at it!” No hunting through Pinterest for the bride. No scheduling appointments — with her far-flung bridesmaids — at dress shops. No pouring over designers’ websites in the middle of the night. All she has to do now, when it comes to her bridesmaids’ dresses, is wait to see how stunning they look on her wedding day.
That conversation took me back to my own wedding. Danny and I had a lot of seriously kind souls pitching in to make our wedding day everything we were hoping for — and as much as I was comfortable with, I gave them free rein to do things their way. I really, really tried not to micromanage. (Too much!) A couple from church volunteered to weave beautiful wreaths for the church doors? Great! They can design them however they’d like! An old family friend said she would host a brunch for my bridesmaids and me? Wonderful! I’ll leave all the planning to her. The venue coordinators will set up and decorate the tables in the reception entryway? Fantastic! I’m sure whatever design they come up with will be perfect.
Once everyone had a general idea of the direction I wanted my wedding to do, it was much easier — for all of us — if Danny and I stepped back and let everyone else bring their own ideas and creativity into the mix. It meant they were welcome to take care of things as quickly or as painstakingly as they wanted; they were welcome to ask for my input, or just show me a final product they loved. And I was freed up to focus on the things that I, as the bride, had to focus on.
Like, you know. The groom.
So my advice today is simple: Whether you’re enlisting an army of family and friends or only hiring professionals to work on pulling off your wedding day, remove yourself from as much of small-scale decision-making as you possibly can. You’ll be freed up to think about the bigger things that only you can decide — and to just enjoy more of your engagement and prepare for your upcoming marriage.